This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
