She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
