ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize