these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
