oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
