You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
