Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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