So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
