dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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