We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
