belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
