Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
