and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
