also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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