Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
