I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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