And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
