maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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