Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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