The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
