Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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