but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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