I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
