i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
