she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
