so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
