YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
They took my balls.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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