need another drink. this is the easiest way
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
