I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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