Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
