If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
