Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize