He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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