He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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