New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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