Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
