so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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