she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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