i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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