It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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