I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
