It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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