"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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