Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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