yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
