she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
