That's intense
Do you still have your period?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
