oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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