Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just gift wrapped bread.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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