By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
