i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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