What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize