My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
