Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
