Buhtt sex?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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