Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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