Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
