My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
zippers are such a cool invention
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
