So drunk its hurt
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize