jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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