somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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