And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
