Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize